Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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