I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
