I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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