Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Of course I have a pirate flag
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
