You smell like stripper and shame
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
