yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
