We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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