he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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