Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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