i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All I want is dick and wine.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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