As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
