now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
