Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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