U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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