Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
babies were throwing up all over the place
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
