Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
