i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
