32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
