He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize