it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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