the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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