please come you make the beer taste better
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
