Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
