McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
