i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
