Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
