I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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