Ambien. No doubt about it.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
