Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
