Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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