dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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