just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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