I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
