and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
