Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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