He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
