haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
