ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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