Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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