just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize