Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
