but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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