He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
