9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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