How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Someone came in the potted fern
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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