let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
