Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
