i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
