i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize