6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
only if we run a train.
done.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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