Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
