Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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