I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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