i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize