I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
