God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
