so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
