I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
