Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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