youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
