I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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