Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I would ride that face into the sunset
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
