Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
