what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
