Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
