I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
