I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
